when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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