We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
