these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My ass is underappreciated
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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