Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
