Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
