that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
