i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize