You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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