k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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