I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
