i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
