Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
