Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And the cops told us we were all naked.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
