Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
