I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
