Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
