My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
