Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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