You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
