how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
