She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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