The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
