Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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