He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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