D3 body, D1 cock
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
