Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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