Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
organizing the empties. That sober.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
God, I missed his penis.
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