I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize