youre lurking in front of me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
