It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
