Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
