I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
PANTIES FOUND
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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