either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
