went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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