I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
