were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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