I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
