OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
