Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
