hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
