His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
