He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I deserve this hangover.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
