Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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