he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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