A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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