for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
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Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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