Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
