Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
