dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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