Christians are straight up FREAKS
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
