Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
