Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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