I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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