So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
