I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
