dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
