you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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