The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
