i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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