Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Can Purell be used as lube?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i out mim tonsoeep
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