It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
