Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
