Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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