She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
