I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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