don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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