So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
